SpaghETI@Home is an ongoing scientific experiment that uses Internet-connected computers to download and analyze satellite data for possible traces of extraterrestrial spaghetti.

Why Spaghetti in Outer Space?

From examining spaghetti under a microscope, we have found that it exhibits extremely unusual characteristics that seem to suggest that its origins cannot be of this planet whatsoever. It’s slippery, it’s slimy, yet it has the ability to stick to walls. This has caused tremendous concern about its true origins.

There is a well-known saying that goes, “If you can’t explain it, it must have come from outer space.” We grew up by these words and it’s little wonder why we suspect spaghetti to be of extraterrestrial origin. But then, we’re still convinced that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches came from outer space, but that will have to wait.

From our endless brainstorming, we have theorized that spaghetti must exist in outer space because it really may be condensed material from the Big Bang. This material may have formed from tiny bits of cosmic dust scattered by the last remnants of the Big Bang. As this dust traveled through space, it was trapped by pockets of water vapor, causing the dust to clump together. Gravity fields from nearby planets or passing objects such as comets played a role in shaping the clumps into the long strands we call spaghetti.

Either that or it may have leaked from the kitchen on board the International Space Station.

Our Progress

We replaced the carpeting in our office after our mail clerk spilled a 5-gallon bucket of ink and left a huge black spot on the floor that was impossible to clean out. We finally got rid of the 1960’s era wallpaper and replaced it with something much more recent. Some additional plants have been purchased to liven up the office atmosphere, and the water fountain has been fixed so that the water comes out clear instead of brown.

As for finding extraterrestrial spaghetti, we haven’t found anything.

How The Screensaver Works

Here is a screenshot of our screensaver.

It works by downloading data from our server over the Internet and then scanning the data for the presence of any extraterrestrial spaghetti. It also performs periodic scans of other online resources for possible alerts. These resources include the National Enquirer and the Weekly World News.

The screensaver also monitors activity at Cape Canaveral and Johnson Space Center for any screaming, which usually points to something extremely startling, such as the discovery of extraterrestrial spaghetti.

Finally, the screensaver also checks for screaming during broadcasts from the major news networks, which is another strong indicator that extraterrestrial spaghetti may have just been discovered.

As mentioned earlier, the screensaver downloads data from the Internet. The upper window shows the portion of the sky that is currently being analyzed. The screensaver continually scans for any squiggly yellow lines that may indicate the presence of extraterrestrial spaghetti. Then it performs some sophisticated number crunching that has absolutely nothing to do with finding extraterrestrial spaghetti whatsoever. The sole purpose of the number crunching is to overheat your computer. Afterwards, it draws some fancy-schmancy graphics to make the program look real cool and then waits a randomly selected time interval before sending the result of the analysis back to our server. The delay is to make you think that the screensaver has been hard at work all this time. After it sends the result, it downloads another work unit and starts the analyzing process anew.

Download SpaghETI@Home

For your downloading convenience, we have set up some mirrors. Please pick a location that is closest to you.

Bedroom mirror
Bathroom mirror
Living room mirror

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