AT&T introduces pay-as-you-go Internet.

This morning when I fired up my web browser to get the day’s news, I was taken to a page on AT&T’s web site telling me that my modem needed to be replaced. Odd, I’ve been using the same modem for years without any problems, now all of a sudden I need to replace it?

This same page offered details on the new modem I would have to purchase. It costs only $30 and offers faster connection speeds than what I had before. I would also be switched to a cheaper usage plan in which I only pay for it when I use it. Before I knew it, I was off to the store, thinking I was in for a good bargain.

When I arrived at the store, I saw a small group of customers standing in front of a shelf that was stocked with the new modems. Apparently I wasn’t the only one. But before I could grab one of the modems, I noticed that these customers were just standing there, reading the words that were printed on the package. I figured these new modems would be practically flying off the shelves but this would not be the case.

I picked up one of the packages and read the print. Faster speeds! Pay As You Go! Save Money! The usual marketing hype. But then I saw what else was included with the modem. It looked like a calculator, presumably to remind you of how much money you’re saving but from trying it out, it instead reflected on what my bill would be. It had a stopwatch function that showed my bill going up exponentially the longer it ran.

With a sigh, I put the modem back on the shelf, completely ignoring a sticker on the package that said that also enclosed was a free copy of uTorrent. Also printed on the sticker was a disclaimer that AT&T does not endorse the use of torrent networks. Of course.

I left the store in quiet disappointment. AT&T has struck again.

This concludes the details of a dream I had before waking up this morning. But don’t worry, none of the dreams I’ve had in the past have ever come true, and hopefully this won’t either, that is, as long as AT&T doesn’t see this post while they’re scouring the Web in search of new marketing ideas. When they do, though, we’ll all be in deep doo-doo.

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