Logically speaking.

Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at the bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, “You know, I’m tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow, I think I’ll go to the community college and sign up for some classes.”

The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History and Logic.

“Logic?” Jim says. “What’s that?”

The dean says, “I’ll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?”

“Yeah.”

“Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I presume you have a yard.”

“That’s true, I do have a yard.”

“I’m not done,” the dean says. “Because you have a yard, I think that logically speaking, you have a house.”

“Yes, I do have a house.”

“And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.”

“Yes, I have a family.”

“So, because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.”

“I am a heterosexual. That’s amazing! You were able to find out all of that just because I have a weed eater.”

Excited to take the class, Jim shakes the dean’s hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes and how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

“Logic?” Bob says, “What’s that?”

“I’ll give you an example,” says Jim. “Do you have a weed eater?”

“No.”

“Then you’re gay.”

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