Anti-belching policy in effect.

Our company strives to provide world-class customer service with the highest degree of professionalism and attention to 100% customer satisfaction. Part of your responsibility as a customer service agent is to reflect our company’s dedication to our customers and treat them with the utmost courtesy and respect.

We routinely monitor calls made to our call center and have noticed an alarming increase in agents belching while on the phone with our customers. As a result we have seen customers switching to our competitors, thus tarnishing our image and sending our stock prices plummeting.

In response to this disturbing trend, we have decided to implement a zero-tolerance anti-belching policy that makes it clear that belching while on the phone is strictly forbidden and will result in termination of employment even on the first offense. Our managers reserve the right to utilize whatever means necessary to enforce this policy, including smashing cubicles with baseball bats and forcefully removing offenders by throwing them out of the building as easily as throwing a tennis ball.

To further discourage illegal belching, we will be removing all soda vending machines from the break room and hiring armed security guards to make sure no sodas are being smuggled into the call center. Violators will be forcefully removed by being thrown out of the building as easily as throwing a tennis ball.

If you are on the phone and must belch, do NOT press the mute button on your phone! Your belch can still be heard and picked up by the sensitive headsets used by agents near you, thus resulting in a serious breach of our anti-belching policy. If you must belch, offer to call the customer back and proceed to one of the many sound-insulated belching booths set up in the call room for your convenience. There you can belch as loud and as long as you wish but make sure you are fully de-belched before leaving the belching booth.

Thank you for your anticipated cooperation in helping us enforce this policy. When we all work together we can restore our company’s positive image and renew our commitment to our customers without fear of being forcefully removed by being thrown out of the building as easily as throwing a tennis ball.

Advertisements

Tags:

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: