File storage in the clown.

I’ve been doing quite a bit of thinking about cloud-based file storage lately. While I may not be an absolute expert on the subject, I do have a grasp on its potential and limitations. You may be able to store your files at a central location and access those files from any computer with an Internet connection, but there are also security and privacy concerns that must be addressed on a constant basis. I have come up with a solution that addresses these shortcomings to further secure your files.

It is here I present the concept of clown-based file storage. You read right. We can utilize the services of circus clowns to keep our files safe and secure from hackers. It may sound silly but it’s a very simple yet innovative concept that takes file storage to the next level.

Your files will be encrypted and protected by an extremely strong 255-character long password before being stored on a microSD card small enough to fit inside the clown’s foam nose. The clown would then wear this nose while performing and engaging in antics so energetic and obnoxious that hackers won’t be able to even try snatching the nose off the clown’s face, that is, if they can get past the squirting flower gag. It’s the robust security solution we’ve all been waiting for.

It’s still possible to access your files whenever you need it. At an appointed time of your choosing, the clowns will meet at one of the certified data centers and insert the microSD cards in card readers connected to the servers for the data to be available over the Internet during a specified time frame. Meanwhile the data center will be guarded by muscular clowns armed with cream pies and banana peels as you remotely access your data, modify it or add additional files. When you are done, the data is taken offline as the clowns remove the cards from the card readers and hide them in their foam noses for safekeeping. Worrying about file security is a thing of the past.

Perhaps the biggest advantage of clown-based file storage is that most people are afraid of clowns. The last thing hackers ever want to see is a sinister looking clown chasing them with an axe, which alone adds an additional layer of file security to keep your files safe yet accessible only by you.

It’s a wonder no one has thought of this before.

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