Ice Cube Man.

My alarm went off at 2:30.

In the morning.

A perfect time to wake up and carry out my plans of revenge against a society that brought me down. A society that voted for this recession and record unemployment.

It didn’t have to be this way, but society spoke and got what it asked for.

Including my wrath.

I got dressed in my black outfit and brought out my dark hooded mask. I went downstairs to my kitchen, reached in my freezer and pulled out a box containing the ice cubes that would serve as weapons of my assault.

I carried the ice cubes out to my car and took off on carrying out my revenge. I drove to a neighborhood not far from mine and turned my headlights off as I drove down the unsuspecting street.

Then I spotted a car resting in the driveway. I didn’t know whose, but it didn’t matter. The lights were out and the driveway was dark.

Leaving my engine running, I opened the driver’s door of my car a good 20 feet away from this dark driveway while carrying a handful of ice cubes.

Fire at will!

I began throwing the ice cubes at the car, succeeding in cracking and breaking the windows. Success.

Now to scram.

I dashed to my car and casually drove off, headlights still off. I did it. But I wasn’t finished.

I found another car further down, this time parked along the street. I didn’t have to get out of my car this time. I just threw an ice cube at the passenger window, which was enough to shatter the window. I casually drove away, attacking 3 more cars on the way out.

But I made myself a dare. Cars are easy targets but what about houses? Do I dare launch an ice cube at say, a bedroom window?

Are you man? Or are you chicken?

Me? A chicken?

Now the challenge was on.

I found a dark house with no cars in the driveway. I got out of the car with ice cubes in hand and approached what I thought was a bedroom.

My heart was pounding as I stood there.

Well? Are you going to throw that ice cube?

That guy beat you to the job you wanted!

Before I knew it, I had thrown the ice cube.


The window shattered into tiny splinters of glass. Then a light turned on inside. I quickly ran to my car and drove off just as I saw a face emerge at the broken window.

I did it.

I decided to visit another neighborhood farther away from this one. I also decided this would be the last of my assaults for a while. There I drove around the street with darkened houses and cars galore.

Easy targets.

Then I began a most daring assault. I threw ice cubes at cars, houses and even motor homes. Window after window was shattered but again the response was minimal, allowing me to escape unnoticed into the night.

The time was 4:30 when I got home. In the course of two hours, I had used up all my ice cubes. I strolled back into my house and crawled back into bed, pleased with my accomplishments.

No, please. It’s not a crime spree. Far from it. This is about sending a message that not everyone likes things the way they are. Oh sure, you may have your recession-proof jobs that pay enough money to replace your broken windows. But what about us? Those on the lower end of the scale, those with jobs that are not recession-proof? Apparently no one cares about us. Where my words fail to speak, my ice cubes will. They speak volumes. And they will return.

To be continued…

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