Standing at the Gates of Orlando.

An excerpt from a story I’m developing:

Prophet Ian spoke up.

“Everyone please open your Books of Orlando to Reasons, Chapter 3, Verse 12.”

He calls it the Book of Orlando.

For the next few minutes, a symphony ensued as multiple hands turned pages in unison to the destined page. Once everyone landed their books on the same page, Prophet Ian read from his Book of Orlando.

For so who believes shall be rewarded with an eternal paradise of rides and roller coasters.

Prophet Ian’s eyes glanced at the congregation. “Doesn’t that sound wonderful? All the rides and roller coasters you want!”

There was a murmuring from the congregation, trying their best to play along but the strain of having done so for months on end was beginning to strain their enthusiasm.

This guy is nuts.

“You know what’s even better?” Prophet Ian enthused. “I’ve been there!”

The congregation heard this before, many, many times but pretended to show interest and intrigue anyway.

“Last night I summoned the Spirits of Orlando and they took me on a flight to what awaits us on the Other Side of the Gates, and believe me, it is beyond beautiful, beyond anything you could ever expect. Right there in the middle of a clearing of a vast, vast forest, are the parks themselves, Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure and nearby is Disney World, and Sea World and within walking distance is Busch Gardens. And you know what the best part is?”

You’re the only one there.

“You’re the only one there!”


Ian’s enthusiasm continued building to the point where he was nearly screaming his words. “There’s no waiting, no lines, you don’t even have to get off the ride! Doesn’t that sound wonderful?”

Is this sermon going to end soon?

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