The Amazing Terry Textblock.

Terry Textblock is a writer able to create paragraphs summarizing impressive feats of magic as if he were actually performing them, except he’s only a writer and not a real magician. However, his writing style is able to render images in your mind of him performing the world’s most baffling illusions, such as him reading your mind:

You are seated at a table across from me in an empty room. I ask you to think of a card, any card at all. Out of 52 possible cards in the deck, you choose one to retain only in your mind and not name it, for I will find out what that card is just from reading your mind. Then I produce a brand new deck of cards still factory sealed in plastic. I remove the plastic and then concentrate as I thumb through the deck until I pull out one card and present it to you. That one card is the one you were thinking of.

And who could forget his astounding tractor transformation trick:

I stand off to the side of the stage as I motion Farmer Jones to drive his old, rickety tractor onto the stage. He continues driving until I signal for him to come to a stop. The tractor is now near the middle of the stage in full view of the audience. Then I walk to the side of the tractor facing the audience and wave my arms. Instantly there is a loud poof of smoke, and when the smoke clears, the tractor has turned into a Lamborghini.

And now he’s back with his most ambitious illusion yet, making the White House float off the ground.

I stand outside the gates and face the White House. I wave my arms and slowly but surely, the White House begins to float off the ground. I continue waving my arms as the building rises high enough to clear the bushes and trees on the lawn. Then I make an exaggerated circular motion with my arms and the White House responds by slowly rotating a full 360 degrees before settling back down on the ground. Then I run like heck from the security guards.

Who knows what mind-blowing paragraphs of magic Terry will come up with next.

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