One fine afternoon on the Internet.

Ah, here we go.

John Earleaf (June 1, 1751 – May 29, 1836) was an early American war hero who fought in numerous battles during the American Revolutionary War. Although he was seriously wounded during the Battle of Bunker Hill, he refused medical treatment and continued fighting to encourage his fellow troops onward to incur heavy British casualties.

My finest moment.

He was also known for his claims of being immortal although the claims were dismissed as symptoms of delusions suffered from his many hours on the battlefield.

Delusions?

After the United States won its independence following the war, Earleaf settled down in upstate New York where he married and took up writing, starting with I Insist I’m Immortal, which was largely dismissed as humorous fiction.

Humorous fiction?

Insisting on his immortality, Earleaf attempted to embark on a series of nationwide speaking engagements to prove his case, but the engagements were instead seen as a predecessor to modern day stand-up comedy.

STAND-UP COMEDY?

After being mocked and ridiculed by the public, Earleaf faded from public view and into obscurity until his death.

For your information, I’m now a greeter at the Walmart in Beverly Hills. And yes, I’m immortal.

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