Steve’s big secret.

“Come on, Steve, tell me that big secret you’ve been hiding from me,” Ian begged. Steve only smiled as he settled back in the comfy chair in the living room at Ian’s house where he was visiting.

“I can’t,” Steve replied.

“Don’t keep it bottled up inside, Steve,” Ian said. “I can see it’s bothering you just thinking about it. It’s not doing you any good keeping it to yourself. You know, like dry ice and warm water inside a plastic bottle with the cap screwed on. The pressure keeps building until it gets to the point where the bottle just can’t contain it anymore, so it explodes. Don’t be that bottle Steve, just tell me your secret.”

Steve shook his head. “I’m just afraid that my secret will destroy our friendship.”

“Steve,” Ian replied, “how long have we been best friends? 30 years? And how long will you need to reveal this secret of yours? Maybe 5 seconds? How can 5 seconds undo 30 years of being close friends? Just tell me.”

Steve let out a deep sigh. “All right, out with it. Ian, I’m not who you think I am.”

Ian only stared at Steve in confusion. “What’s up, Steve?”

“My name isn’t Steve. And this is not my real face. It’s a mask.”

Ian was stunned into silence and needed a few seconds to recover from this shocking revelation. “All right, then take off your mask.”

Steve stood up and turned around with his back facing Ian. As Ian watched in horror, Steve removed the mask concealing a hideously ugly face underneath…

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