The Wizard of Pollution Land, Part 9.


“All right, miserable girl! Wash the floors, the walls, the ceiling, the rooms, everything. And that’ll be all!” cried the Witch.

“Whew!” Dorothy sighed.

“Then – wash the walls, the roof, scrape the moss and algae off the walls, paint them, and it is your responsibility they stay clean.”

“I hate you, you old hag!” cried Dorothy.

“I hate you, too. Now get to work.”

“I wish this was all a dream!”

“I’ll prove it to you it isn’t,” said the Witch.


“Like this,” said the witch, bringing her head next to Dorothy’s, and screaming.

The doorbell rang. The witch answered it and, receiving a letter, she read it aloud.

“The Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion were thrown in jail for talking about murdering the Wizard.”

(Time out for a quick side note. When I first wrote this story back in 1986, I neglected to mention a law that prohibited anyone from saying the words “kill the Wizard”. This law was put in place during the war years ago when there were spies sent by the enemy to assassinate the Wizard. Yet the Scarecrow managed to get arrested just by saying “What do we have to do, kill the Wizard?” After the Scarecrow was handcuffed, the Tin Man said to the guard, “Wait a minute. You’re arresting him just for saying ‘kill the Wizard?'” And the Lion said, “But we would never kill the Wizard!” And that’s how the three of them got arrested. Now back to our story.)

“They would never do that!”

“SHUT UP!” screamed the Witch.

“Yes, ma’am,” said Dorothy.

She walked away back to her chores while the Witch eyed her washing the floor.

“You missed a speck of sand!” the Witch cried.

“I did not!” Dorothy yelled.

The Witch then yelled into Dorothy’s ear, “When I say you missed a speck of sand, YOU MISSED A SPECK OF SAND, YOU FOOL!”

Dorothy cried and collapsed.

“All in a day’s work,” the Witch mumbled. “Wait until she comes to. I have a hell of a job for her!”

To be continued…

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