Kevin watched as his staff staggered into the conference room for the weekly department meeting. Everyone took their seats in anticipation of spending the next hour in agonizing confinement.
“No refreshments as usual,” Charles observed. “Not even a stinkin’ DRINK!”
Kevin smiled awkwardly and began the meeting.
“I know it’s been a very tough week with the network down. I also know we’ve been working triple overtime to try bringing things back up, but in the meantime I’ve been thinking of ways to liven things up and boost our morale.” Kevin announced.
“Well, you can boost my morale with a stinkin’ DRINK!” Charles roared. “WITH ALCOHOL!”
“Lol!” Kevin laughed.
Everyone in the room groaned. Kevin has got to be the only person who implemented those chat room acronyms into his daily speech.
“How about doing us all a favor and just get right to the point?” Robert interjected. “We’ve been having so many problems with the network that I haven’t even been home in three days. Let’s hear this big idea of yours.”
“Okay,” Kevin cleared his throat. “I’ve been thinking about ordering some forklifts for our department.”
After a stunned silence, Robert spoke up. “Forklifts.”
“Yes.” Kevin replied brightly.
“For our department.”
Everyone groaned again. Kevin has got to be the only person who implemented emoticons into his daily speech.
Robert leaned forward. “You do realize that ours is the Information Systems department.”
“:)” Kevin replied.
“So why do we need forklifts?”
“Because they’re fun to drive.”
Everyone leaned back in their seats and stared at the ceiling in unison.
“So? What do you all think?” Kevin asked.
“If you want my honest opinion,” Charles replied. “I think it’s a load of 💩.”
Everyone was shocked at Charles’s response.
“Why, Charles! :O” Kevin exclaimed. “I didn’t know you could speak Emoji!”
Robert looked again at the ceiling threw up his arms in despair. “I thought we were having a department meeting.”
“We are!” Kevin replied.
“Then how about starting it? I haven’t been home in three days and I’m really tired-”
“😤” Charles yelled.
“>:(” Kevin retorted.
“😱” Charles screamed.
Robert got up and started for the door. “I can’t take this anymore! You call us in for a department meeting and the only thing you bring to the table is this nonsense idea of ordering us all forklifts just because they’re fun to drive. How about ordering some replacement hubs and switches so we can have the network actually run longer than an hour without crashing?”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Kevin replied sadly.
“Why not?” Robert yelled.
“Because I already ordered the forklifts.”
Not even the police was able to contain the commotion that followed.