As I fell asleep, I decided to launch another out of body experience, but not to the world that wants to forget about me. Instead, I opted for the last resort; the Kingdom of Heaven.
Ian descended to his feet on the clouds and surveyed the enormous office building in front of him. Entering the towering lobby, he walked to the front desk that was built entirely from glass.
“Can I help you?” the receptionist asked.
“Yes, I’d like to see the Lord God,” Ian replied.
“Is He expecting you?”
“Um, no,” Ian stammered.
“What is the nature of your visit?” she asked.
“I just want to find out why I was put on Earth in the first place. Surely the reason is not for me to make people upset and then make them happy when I’m not around.”
“Hmmm, that sounds like something your Guardian Angel can help you with. Do you know your Angel’s name?”
“Um, I’m not sure I even have a Guardian Angel.”
“What’s your name?” the receptionist asked, turning to her computer.
The receptionist tapped away on the keyboard to look up Ian’s name.
“Do you have a middle name?”
“Yes, it’s Matthew.”
“Ah, yes,” the receptionist glanced at her screen. “Your Guardian Angel’s name is Matthew too. Just take the elevator to the 500th floor. Matthew’s office will be the 2,000th door on your right.”
“Big place!” Ian barked.
After arriving on the 500th floor and enduring an extremely long walk down the hallway, Ian finally arrived at Matthew’s office. Opening the door, he spotted a curly haired man dressed in a white robe sitting behind a white desk inside the office’s white interior.
“Ah, come in, come in!” the man greeted. “I’ve been expecting you.”
“You have?” Ian was wondrous.
“Yes, have a seat! Make yourself at home! I know exactly why you’re here. I know what your question is and I have the answer. Would you like to hear it?”
“Sure,” Ian said.
“Pay attention, for the answer is this.”
Suddenly the man blew some loud raspberries, one blast after the other. Ian had to shield his eyes from the flying saliva.
“JOB!” a voice bellowed from behind Ian. “What on Heaven are you doing?”
“Sorry,” Job said, getting up.
“I believe you have some work to do, and it does NOT involve sitting behind a desk!”
Ian was confused. “But I thought my Guardian Angel’s name was Matthew!”
“I’m Matthew,” continued the voice. “Job’s the cleanup guy.”
Job sheepishly left the office and Matthew sat behind his desk.
“Sorry about that,” Matthew said. “Job’s so mischievous. No wonder he got demoted to janitor. What can I do for you?”
Ian replied, “I’m just wondering what my purpose of being on Earth is. Why am I here? What’s the point in my existence?”
“A most intriguing question,” Matthew said, “but one I cannot answer.”
“What?” Ian yelled. “But I thought you Guardian Angels knew all the answers!”
“The Lord God has all the answers, but He’s very subtle about revealing them to you. You have to seek the answers yourself, with the help of the signs He sends you.”
“Yes, signs. Pay attention to what goes on around you. Every little thing that happens is a sign from the Lord God, and it’s up to you what they mean. If you interpret the signs correctly, only then will you know the answers. Just pay attention to the signs.”
“Pay attention to the signs?” Ian asked.
“Pay attention to the signs,” Matthew repeated as the office faded to black.