At the talent show.

George patiently sat in the waiting area backstage while waiting his turn to perform at the talent show in progress at the neighborhood bar. At first he was worried about his chances but began to relax more and more after each performer was booed into elimination from the tournament. Maybe he did have a chance after all.

Onstage was Jimmy the Insidious Juggler who was juggling three firecrackers with their fuses lit. Despite his skillful timing to have each firecracker explode while in midair, Jimmy was still eliminated with the onslaught of booing from the audience.

Next up was Danny and his Farting Dummy. During his act, Danny desperately tried to mask his poor ventriloquism by letting loose with some very loud flatulence that failed to impress the audience. Another easy elimination.

Finally, it was George’s turn, the last contestant on the talent show. He casually strolled on the stage with his guitar, coughing slightly from the leftover smelly air from the previous performance. Determined to seize the moment, he sat on the bar stool behind the microphone, gently strumming some phony chords as he began to sing.

I’m 48 years old
I’m nothing but a goofoff
I graduated high school
In 1985

I do not have a job
Nor do I have a car
I’m nothing but a burden
On my Mom and Dad

I’m perfectly content
With my simple life
My parents disagree
They tell me what I need

A kick to the head
A kick to the head
I’ll put your life in focus
With a swift kick to the head

As the last notes of the phony chords faded away, George was greeted with uncertain silence from the confused audience. Suddenly there was an explosion of rapturous cheering with whistling so high it sounded like razzing. In fact, it was razzing as George too was booed off the stage.

Nobody won the talent show that night. But it didn’t matter, for the talent show existed soley as a means for patrons to take out their frustrations from the daily stress plaguing their existence. And what better way to relieve this stress than to boo some talentless soul off the stage?

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