The Light Between The Ears.

My spoof of The Light Between Oceans:

Matthias listened intently. The footsteps were getting louder as the intruder climbed the spiral staircase leading to the top of the lighthouse. Louder and louder the footsteps became until the intruder was just outside the door to the room where Matthias was working. Then there was silence.

Suddenly the silence was shattered by loud knocking. Matthias rose to his feet and approached the door, unlocking it, slowly pulling it open, and then gazing into the darkness.

Then a pair of hands lunged out of the darkness, grabbing Matthias’s neck as the intruder barged into the room, fully intent on strangling his victim. After a brief struggle, Matthias dropped to the floor, gasping.

“Did I kill you yet?” Stephan asked.

“No, not yet,” Matthias replied as he sat up while rubbing his neck.

“This lighthouse has been in continuous operation ever since it was first built 200 years ago,” Stephan began as he paced around the room, “The one who ran it was always someone in my family. My father ran it, my grandfather ran it, my great-grandfather ran it, and so on down the line. But when it came my turn to run it, my father instead decided to hire some outside help, specifically, YOU!”

Matthias gulped as Stephan cast a menacing sneer.

“Why, may you ask?” Stephan continued. “Because I am forbidden from entering this lighthouse. Why, may you ask? Because I happened to uncover its closely guarded secret, one kept hidden for generations until now.” Stephan began to smile. “And would you like to know what that secret is?”

Matthias nodded weakly. Stephan leaned closer and spoke in a low voice. “This lighthouse,” he started, “is not real.”

Then Stephan walked to the other side of the room and removed a picture of a sailboat from the wall, uncovering a hidden panel. Opening the panel revealed three levers. He grabbed the first one and pulled on it, causing a faint rumbling noise. Stephan chuckled at Matthias’s confused reaction as he pulled on the second lever. The rumbling became even louder as the lighthouse began to tremble. The third lever was pulled and the lighthouse began to ascend.

“Yes, this lighthouse,” Stephan yelled above the commotion, “is a ROCKET SHIP!”

To be continued…

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