Many years ago when I was growing up, I went along on a family trip to the Florida Keys. One afternoon we ate at a seafood restaurant where I sampled raw oysters for the first time in my life. (I believe it was at this same restaurant when I squirted a bottle of mustard in my sister’s face, but that’s another story.) When my parents asked me what I thought of the oysters, I simply replied, “Needs cooking.” Thus, my famous Food Tastiness Scale was born.
My Food Tastiness Scale consists of the following rankings, from best to worst:
- Excellent
- Very Good
- Good
- S’Okay
- Needs Cooking
Whenever I visit my parents and stay for dinner, I tend to use my scale when asked how I like the food. My typical response would be “Very Good”, in fact I use “Very Good” so many times that when I use “Excellent”, I can sense the shock around the table. “Why, Mike!” my parents would exclaim, “What happened to ‘Very Good’?”
My scale also applies to drinks as well. Before dinner, my father would offer me a sip of wine. I’m not much of a wine drinker and I rarely have alcoholic beverages because I don’t like how they taste. My response to the wine? “Needs cooking.”
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