The Heckler.

SCENE – Dinner table. Mac and his wife seated. Mac is reading a newspaper.

MAC: (throws down paper) Darn!

WIFE: What’s wrong?

MAC: Tom Wilson is seeking office for mayor! He wants to sell this town to Metropolis!

WIFE: We do have a small town.

MAC: Yeah, even a toddler could jump over it in a single bound. Lissen, he’s going to give a speech tonight at the city hall. I’m thinking of throwing him out, so we can have Zachary Tipper back as a mayor with enough attitude to keep an old town the way it has been for 70 years. Nice, small, and independent. I gotta get ready to go.

WIFE: Well, okay. Just don’t get yourself in too much trouble.

SCENE – City hall. 30 citizens facing Wilson. Mac is in rear.

WILSON: People, I have raised over 10,000 dollars to help our community during the last 3 months.

MAC: That’s nothing. I can raise 25 dollars in 2 seconds.


MAC: By raising my wallet.

WILSON: Officers, keep an eye on the man in that back row. Thanks. (clears throat) Now, selling our town to Metropolis will create thousands of jobs that will blend our town in with the rest.

MAC: The rest of what? Of eternity?

WILSON: Shut up! (pause) Excuse me. But, I will have to raise a whopping 50 thousand dollars for this process to begin.

MAC: I don’t think you can.

WILSON: Now what’s wrong with that?

MAC: You’ll never find 50 thousand dollars that can whop.

WILSON: Officers, remove that man!

MAC: Stop! Mr. Wilson, you’re a nice guy.

WILSON: Huh? Well, uh –

MAC: You are popular and handsome.

WILSON: Gee, thanks!

MAC: You would make a thousand women follow you!

WILSON: Wow, thank you! That will do! You give nice comments, sir.

MAC: Enjoy them, my man, ’cause I ain’t lettin’ ya run for mayor! (charges up to stage)

SCENE – Breakfast table. Mac and wife. Mac reading newspaper.

WIFE: Why are you smiling?

MAC: Wilson has resigned, and good ol’ Tipper’s back as mayor.

WIFE: I’m proud of you, Mac. You really do have that town spirit.

MAC: Yeah, but one thing.

WIFE: What?

MAC: I don’t believe in ghosts.


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