Ian wants to go to Orlando.

“Mom?” Ian called out.

Wait for it.

“Can I go to Orlando?”

Bingo.

“No, Ian,” Karen replied.

It’s been like this all morning.

Ian sat on the couch in the living room with his guitar on his lap. Nearby was a suitcase packed with clothes, ready for his trip to Orlando. But Karen wouldn’t let him go. He had no job, no money, no car and no driver’s license, yet he thought he could borrow his mother’s car along with her credit card and go anyway. Heck, he was even planning on taking a few of his friends who wanted to go to Orlando just as badly as he did.

He just doesn’t get it.

Then, to Karen’s great annoyance, the guitar music started up as Ian played some crudely formed chords to accompany his off-key singing.

ready to go
our lives are on hold
tired of waiting
please
keys to your car
ride the Hulk
our lives will change
what are you waiting for

gotta go
Dueling Dragons
ready to go
what are you waiting for
deprived childhood
suitcase by the door
Universal Studios
we’ve waited long enough

By the time Ian finished his song, Karen was cringing.

What kind of song is that?

“Mom?” Ian called out.

Wait for it.

“Can I go to Orlando?”

Bingo.

“No, Ian,” Karen replied.

It’s been like this all morning.

A few minutes later, the awful guitar music started up again before Ian’s dreadful voice joined in.

right now
we’ve waited long enough
haven’t grown up yet
chilling on the City Walk
Back to the future
Universal Studios
haven’t grown up yet
give us your money

Universal Studios
give us your money
Great Scott
what are you waiting for
Islands of Adventure
tired of waiting
Great Scott
Islands of Adventure

What kind of song is that?

“Mom?” Ian called out.

Wait for it.

“Can I go to Orlando?”

Bingo.

“No, Ian,” Karen replied.

It’s been like this all morning.

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