This morning I walked into the courtroom with a large spider on my head. Everyone tried to ignore it but nonetheless I could feel the stares all morning.
During the morning break I learned the hard way to never greet a lawyer while at the courthouse. I said good morning to a lawyer on the defense team and he yelled, “I OBJECT!”
The trial finally got started after a new jury was assembled from a jury pool of humans rather than a group of stray cats collected from the alley outside the courthouse.
During testimony from one of the witnesses, I accidentally let out a loud fart. The judge banged his gavel and shouted, “Odor in the court!” There was short delay before the trial resumed as the courtroom reporter didn’t know how to transcribe a loud fart.
Later in the testimony, the witness and the defense attorney engaged in a shouting match that threw the trial into chaos. The judge kept banging his gavel and yelling, “Order in the court!” To which the jury yelled back, “PIZZA!” And so pizza was ordered and delivered to the courtroom, which did much to calm things down.
Before concluding the trial for the day, the judge warned us not to have any breakfast tomorrow morning as we would be looking at some Very Disgusting Crime Scene Photos That Look Like Smooshed Jelly Donuts. He promised to reward us with a breakfast of smooshed jelly donuts.
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