Notes from jury duty, day 3.

This morning the judge announced, “It has come to my attention that someone in the jury has been blogging about this trial despite my making it clear that this is not allowed. I’m going to say the word gooble-de-glop* now, and if I find it anywhere online tonight, I’m going to declare a mistrial!”

Just as the trial resumed, a group of people claiming to represent Tooters For Truth stormed into the courtroom yelling, “The defendant is innocent! She was framed! Her neighbor planted the evidence along with the tomatoes! We have the proof! TOOT TOOT!” To which the judge replied, “Sorry, you have the wrong courtroom. The murder case is next door.”

Before the trial could resume, it was interrupted by a TV crew filming an episode of Order & Law and the courtroom was turned into a scene for the episode in which we played the jury. Within a matter of hours, both sides presented their scripted case and we proceeded with the scripted deliberations before delivering the scripted verdict. After filming had wrapped up, we asked the judge why the real trial wasn’t progressing this quickly, he replied, “Sorry, this is real life. It’s a completely different world than what you see on TV.” When we asked, “What channel is that on?”, he said to check the TV listings.

The bizarre day in court ended with shouting coming from the courtroom next door. We all sat silently as we heard, “Raise your right hand. Now put your left hand here.” Then we heard another voice yell, “Take off your hat!”

* Spelling has been changed to throw off the judge.

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