Notes from jury duty, day 5.

This morning the prosecution and the defense were scheduled to give their closing arguments but they were still lying on the floor while resting on their cases, so the judge told us to go ahead and begin deliberations. When we arrived at the jury room, we saw boxes everywhere containing the evidence and eyewitnesses relevant to the case.

“Aww, man, I don’t wanna do this,” groaned one of the jurors.

“Neither do I,” said another, “Have you all made up your minds yet?”

“Yeah, have you?”

“Sure did. Why don’t we take a vote?”

We took a vote and it turned out we all had already made up our minds on the verdict. I breathed a sigh of relief. The deliberations weren’t going to take the rest of the year after all.

“Back so soon?” asked the judge as we filed back into the courtroom. “Have you reached a verdict?”

“We have, your honor,” replied one of the jurors. “We find ourselves not guilty by reason of insanity.”

“Works for me,” the judge said, banging his gavel.

And we went wee wee wee all the way home.

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