My first colonoscopy.

This morning I had my first colonoscopy. Needless to say I was nervous about it but once it was over, it turns out there really was nothing to be nervous about.

My mother told me that the worst part of a colonoscopy is the preparation. It turns out she was right. The day before my procedure I was to eat no solid foods and consume no dairy products or alcohol. Clear liquids were okay but any red or dark purple fluids were off the list.

Around 11am I took four stool softener pills to begin the bowel purging process. That wasn’t too traumatic. But at 5pm was when the gastric fireworks began. That was when I had to drink a 16 ounce cup of Suprep mixed with a little water. It tastes like grape juice mixed with seawater, not exactly a pleasant flavor. A half hour later I was running for the bathroom to play giddyup with the porcelain pony. A few minutes later I had to go again. And again. And again. Finally, after several hours, the runs eased up.

Then I had to do the Suprep thing all over again three hours before my procedure. My appointment was at 6:30am, so that meant I had to take the second dose no later than 3:30am, and by 4am, the gastric floodgates opened and once again I made repeated trips to the porcelain throne. The runs eased up just in time for my appointment. I swear lost 2 pounds during this preparation.

My mother picked me up this morning as I would be too sedated to drive after my procedure. Once at the clinic, I changed to my gown and a nurse took my vitals and started the IV. The nurse told me that I might wake up feeling bloated from the air and water used during the procedure.

A short time later I was wheeled into the room where my colonoscopy would be done. There another nurse connected a breathing tube to my nose and told me to lie on my left side. Then the doctor entered and the last thing I remembered was feeling lightheaded from the medicine that put me to sleep.

When I woke up, I was back in the preparation area where I was when I first arrived at the clinic. I began wondering if they started the procedure yet, but I was relieved when I realized that it was over. I felt no pain or bloating whatsoever. Then a nurse came to check on me and removed the sensors that monitored my vitals along with the IV needle from my hand. The doctor came by and told me no cancer was found and I have a clean bill of health. After signing the discharge papers I was finally free to go. I won’t have to go through this again for another 5 years.

UPDATE: I went back to work the next day.