I was sitting at my desk at home paying bills while playing a game of “Would You Rather” with my smart speaker.
“Would you rather predict the future or change the past?” it asked.
“Change the past,” I replied.
“You are unique,” my smart speaker responded. “47% of people agree with you. Next question. Would you rather have a book written about you or a song written about you?”
“Song written about me.”
“I like the way you think. 53% of people agree with you. Next question. Would you rather drown in the bathtub or self-combust in the kitchen?”
I looked up at my smart speaker.
What kind of question was that?
“95% of people agree with you,” the smart speaker said without waiting for my response. “Next question. Would you rather be squeezed to death by a boa constrictor or trampled on by a herd of elephants?”
No way I’m answering this.
“Stop,” I said to my smart speaker, hoping to put an end to this typically family-friendly game.
“45% of people agree with you. Next question. Would you rather gouge out your eyes or cut off your tongue?”
“76% of people agree with you. Next question. Would you rather-“
Before I could hear the next question, I unplugged my smart speaker, opened the window and threw it out on the street. Then I gasped at the sight I had just seen.
There were smart speakers flying out the windows of homes all over my neighborhood.