Bob Schott’s final column.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The following is the final column submitted by controversial author and radio host Bob Schott. He requested that we use no disclaimer about his views but we decided otherwise.

None of the events described in this column have ever taken place. They are the results of Schott’s hallucinations that he claims are prophecies of the future. We reprint the unedited column here, with some very mixed feelings about it.

RIP Tequesta

This past week I have witnessed the death of my beautiful hometown of Tequesta. It didn’t have to end this way of course, but the apathy of the people indicated they all wanted this to happen. I can only wish they’re happy with the way things are now.

Laugh at me if you want, but I actually had visions of Tequesta’s demise over 25 years ago. That’s when I started my mission to warn everyone about what was to happen. I used my radio show, my books and my lectures to spread awareness about the approaching doom but everyone just laughed it off.

Well, guess what. The chain of events fully consistent with my visions were set into motion. First, a lone criminal known only as Mike arrived in town intent on causing as much damage as possible. Windows were shattered, car tires were popped and our beloved Tequesta Park became lined with underground landmines. But the worst was just beginning.

Next, gangs, prostitutes, drug dealers and weapons manufacturers arrived in town and slowly transformed Tequesta into a crime haven. Thanks to the crooked vision of Terrence Dougart, one of the most corrupt mayors to ever walk the earth, Tequesta became a favorite destination for criminals, murderers and fugitives, who enjoyed a preferred status and immunity from arrest and prosecution.

Then things went from bad to worse when all the street gangs merged into one powerful and deadly supergang known as Los Boletos, who unleashed a campaign of violence and terror that single handedly crippled Tequesta. Entire streets were blown up, railroad tracks were decimated, and even the stretch of U.S. Highway 1 that ran through Tequesta was vanquished. Worse, bridges leading to Tequesta were demolished, including nearby drawbridges and most tragically of all, the famed Jupiter Lighthouse. And of course, a bomb was dropped on Tequesta Park, blowing up hundreds of land mines simultaneously and leaving behind a huge crater that is beyond terrifying just to see. Tequesta was reduced to a shambles in a matter of days, leaving behind a town forever in ruins.

Now Los Boletos are in the process of establishing a new town called Maleta where Tequesta once stood. They are forming a new government with Mike as the new mayor. Yes, all the roads and bridges will be rebuilt but a regime of terror promises to follow suit. Prepare yourself for sky high taxes and strict regulations to restrict your rights and freedoms. Crime will be the norm, politics will be as crooked as ever and you will be powerless to stop it. You had 25 years to prevent all this from happening but apparently you thought it was all a joke. Well guess what. Los Boletos now has the last laugh.

I am under orders to surrender to the government of Maleta, who now see me as a traitor. I don’t know what will happen to me once I am in their custody but apparently it’s of no concern to you. I’d like to be remembered as a martyr who tried to take a stand for liberty, justice and freedom in the face of evil, but given your apathy over the years, you were set to forget me years ago.

Have a nice life in Maleta.

EDITOR’S NOTE: After submitting this column, Bob Schott reportedly walked out of his house and has not been seen again. A search for him is ongoing.

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