The world’s most relaxing song.

If you’re looking for something that will really, really relax you, look no farther than the Mindfulness Pack on the archive.org website. It has four tasty tracks that mix soothing synthesizer music and binaural beats to create a truly unique meditative experience. There are tracks for quick meditation, endorphin release and lucid healing, but the real find here is the fourth and final track entitled “The World’s Most Relaxing Song”, a 9-minute track that will truly immerse you into the deepest relaxation you’ll ever feel. I’ve yet to try out the other tracks, but if it can relax me to the point of pure calm, then I’d expect the other tracks to work wonders as well. This album is a real find.

Relax in a hurry.

Recently I was exploring the archive.org web site for some relaxing music when I came across a rather interesting album entitled Relax in a Hurry by a group called Lucky Dragons. This album claims to offer extremely brief, 3-second meditations that will have you relaxed “in the time it takes to look at a web page”. Some of the tracks are nothing but short clicks at varying frequencies that are supposed to trigger some sort of a relaxed response while others are short pieces of otherworldly music. Is this album really an innovative approach to meditation or is it a creative approach to getting noticed by an unforgiving music industry? You be the judge.

A train wreck of an excursion.

Everyone aboard knew the old train wasn’t going to make it. It was struggling with all its might but it just couldn’t reach the top of the steep incline that was part of a track designed to take us tourists around the mountain. Suddenly the engine quit and even with the brakes on, the train began slowly sliding backwards. Then came a somber announcement.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry to inform you that our train has run out of coal. To add insult to injury, the brakes are failing and will not hold us stopped on this steep incline for much longer. It will only be a matter of time before we start rolling backwards at high speed back into town before our train smashes itself to smithereens. Therefore I ask that we all rise and observe a moment of dignity before our unexpected and unfortunate demises.”

We all rose to our feet as a man holding an acoustic guitar walked to the front of the cabin and began singing the Ozzy Osbourne classic “Crazy Train” as we all stood still, trying our best to ignore the trees streaking past the windows outside as the train rolled backwards into town at high speeds before smashing itself to smithereens.

There the train lay, now nothing but a pile of scrap metal with all of us buried underneath. Then pieces began to move as we all dug our way out of the wreckage, laughing and feeling the satisfaction from what had been an adrenaline rush available to those hungry for a thrill few have had the courage to seek.

“How was that?” the guide had to shout above our cheering. He didn’t need an answer, as our enthusiasm gave him the response he was expecting.

“That’s it for the train ride,” the guide announced. “Gather your belongings and don’t forget to stop by the gift shop for your souvenir picture taken just before the crash.”

We all thanked the guide and then raided the gift shop, making sure to purchase the “I Survived A Train Wreck” T-shirt along with our pictures. Meanwhile, the train outside was reassembled and readied for its next terrifying trip down the mountain.