Hesitant direction.

I spent the past week expanding my AutoIt poem generator script to include an array of 500 adjectives, 500 nouns and 100 various opening lines of poetry. This poem came from the first run of that script, the first of many to come.

HESITANT DIRECTION
sensing lame patience
my scented family
in a bittersweet steel
you sing about the rubbery stupidity
listening to the self-inflicted duplicates
they don’t understand underrated rescue
can you see the walking features
under the sworn sickness
listening to the dazed thunder

A game of icon slots.

2017-05-06 05_50_01-Iconslots

Speaking of slots, here’s an AutoIt version that has a nice twist to it. Instead of using numbers, it uses the icons stored in SHELL32.DLL. If you get three matching icons, you win. However, victory won’t come so easily this time, just like the real thing.

#include <ButtonConstants.au3>
#include <GUIConstants.au3>

GUICreate("Iconslots" , 120, 90)

GUISetState()  ; display the GUI
$quest1 = GUICtrlCreateButton("1", 0, 0, 40, 40, $BS_ICON)
GUICtrlSetImage(-1, "shell32.dll", 24)
$quest2 = GUICtrlCreateButton("2", 40, 00, 40, 40, $BS_ICON)
GUICtrlSetImage(-1, "shell32.dll", 24)
$quest3 = GUICtrlCreateButton("3", 80, 00, 40, 40, $BS_ICON)
GUICtrlSetImage(-1, "shell32.dll", 24)
$spin = GUICtrlCreateButton("Go", 35, 50, 50, 35)

Do
$msg = GUIGetMsg()
Select
Case $msg=$spin
GUICtrlDelete ($quest1)
GUICtrlDelete ($quest2)
GUICtrlDelete ($quest3)
$a=random (15,20,1)
$b=random (15,20,1)
$c=random (15,20,1)
$na="-"&$a
$nb="-"&$b
$nc="-"&$c
$button1 = GUICtrlCreateButton("1", 0, 0, 40, 40, $BS_ICON)
GUICtrlSetImage(-1, "shell32.dll", $na)
$button2 = GUICtrlCreateButton("2", 40, 00, 40, 40, $BS_ICON)
GUICtrlSetImage(-1, "shell32.dll", $nb)
$button3 = GUICtrlCreateButton("3", 80, 00, 40, 40, $BS_ICON)
GUICtrlSetImage(-1, "shell32.dll", $nc)
if $a=$b and $a=$c and $b=$c Then
GUICtrlDelete ($spin)
GUICtrlCreateLabel ("You win!", 1, 75, 50, 35)
endif
EndSelect
Until $msg = $GUI_EVENT_CLOSE

In a future version I will make gold coins fall from your screen.

Some random jokes.

Here’s the output from a joke generator I created using AutoIt. Like my other generator scripts, this one randomly selects words from various arrays to generate a completely random joke along with an equally random punchline. Who knows, maybe with some fine tuning and larger arrays, this script could generate some genuinely funny jokes. For now, here’s what I came up with.

What did the dummy say to the bird?
Stop acting like a loud bandage.

What did the boat say to the door?
Keep this up and you’ll be a sober potato.

What did the fish say to the flea?
Keep this up and you’ll be a stinky tape.

Did you hear the one about the pencil and the actor?
A stupid blast.

Did you hear the one about the cat and the singer?
A dizzy stump.

What did the pencil say to the clown?
It sure looks like you got hit in the face by a musical joke.

What did the car say to the lamp?
I think you got ran over by a magnetic fall.

What did the doctor say to the clown?
Keep this up and you’ll be a bouncy breeze.

What did the robber say to the flower?
I think you got ran over by a cold breeze.

What did the cat say to the lamp?
Ah, go invent a musical movie.

What did the mouse say to the tree?
Boy, you sure smell like a hot potato.

Did you hear the one about the pin and the sneaker?
It sounded like a noxious potato.

AutoIt poem generator.

Presented here is an abbreviated version of my poem generator script for use with AutoIt. The original version is 504 lines long due to the size of the arrays, so I shrank them for this post without compromising the script’s functionality. This script generates three short poems and writes them to a file called “atpoem.htm” in your Documents folder. A word of warning: because the page colors are also randomly generated, the text may not be readable in some cases, so just run the script again for a different color combination. Enjoy.

ProgressOn("@Random", "Generating atpoem.htm...", "0 percent complete")

dim $po[15]
dim $adj[20]
dim $nou[20]
dim $lin[20]

$adj[0]="happy"
$adj[1]="sad"
$adj[2]="angry"
$adj[3]="doubtful"
$adj[4]="horrible"
$adj[5]="terrifying"
$adj[6]="painful"
$adj[7]="healthy"
$adj[8]="sick"
$adj[9]="worried"
$adj[10]="high"
$adj[11]="low"
$adj[12]="near"
$adj[13]="far"
$adj[14]="calm"
$adj[15]="wild"
$adj[16]="blind"
$adj[17]="sightful"
$adj[18]="blessed"
$adj[19]="cursed"

$nou[0]="ambitions"
$nou[1]="dreams"
$nou[2]="horizons"
$nou[3]="colors"
$nou[4]="world"
$nou[5]="perspective"
$nou[6]="love"
$nou[7]="hate"
$nou[8]="desire"
$nou[9]="passion"
$nou[10]="lust"
$nou[11]="appeal"
$nou[12]="proposal"
$nou[13]="maze"
$nou[14]="music"
$nou[15]="chords"
$nou[16]="strings"
$nou[17]="lyrics"
$nou[18]="melodies"
$nou[19]="songs"

$lin[0]="in a"
$lin[1]="outside the"
$lin[2]="under the"
$lin[3]="your"
$lin[4]="his"
$lin[5]="her"
$lin[6]="my"
$lin[7]="on top of"
$lin[8]="listening to the"
$lin[9]="tell me about"
$lin[10]="or"
$lin[11]="and"
$lin[12]="but"
$lin[13]="beware of"
$lin[14]="this is"
$lin[15]="that is"
$lin[16]="because"
$lin[17]="like the"
$lin[18]="life is"
$lin[19]="sing about"

$file=@MyDocumentsDir & "\atpoem.htm"
$FileOpen = FileOpen ($file, 2)
FileWriteLine($file, "<HTML>")
FileWriteLine($file, "<HEAD>")
FileWriteLine($file, "<TITLE>Random Poems</TITLE>")
FileWriteLine($file, "</HEAD>")
FileWrite ($file, "<BODY TEXT="& chr(34) & "#")
for $g=1 to 6
$a=random (1,9,1)
FileWrite ($file, hex($a,1))
next
FileWrite ($file, chr(34) & chr (32))
FileWrite ($file, "BGCOLOR=" & chr(34) & "#")
for $g=1 to 6
$a=random (1,9,1)
FileWrite ($file, hex($a,1))
next
FileWrite ($file, chr(34) & " LINK=" & chr(34) &"#")
for $g=1 to 6
$a=random (1,9,1)
FileWrite ($file, hex($a,1))
next
FileWrite ($file, chr(34) & ">" & @CRLF)
FileWriteLine ($file, "<center>")
FileWriteLine ($file, "<h1>Random Poems</h1>")
FileWriteLine ($file, "<h3>")

for $g=1 to 3
$a=random (0,19,1)
$b=random (0,19,1)
$t=stringupper ($adj[$a] & chr(32) & $nou[$b] )
FileWriteLine ($file, $t & "<p>")

$c=random (1,10,1)
for $j=0 to $c
$a=random (0,19,1)
$b=random (0,19,1)
$d=random (0,19,1)
FileWriteLine ($file, $lin[$d] & chr(32) & $adj[$a] & chr(32) & $nou[$b] & "<br>")
next
FileWriteLine ($file, "<p>")
ProgressSet( int(($g*33)), int(($g*33)) & " percent complete")
next

FileWriteLine ($file, "</h3>")
FileWriteLine ($file, "</BODY>")
FileWriteLine ($file, "</HTML>")
FileClose ($FileOpen)
ProgressSet(100 , "Done.", "Done.")
sleep (500)
ProgressOff ()

Random movie titles.

To wrap up this strange streak of AutoIt-induced randomness, I present a listing of generated movie titles that will most definitely not be playing at a theater near you. The genre of the movie is presented along with its top stars. Grab some popcorn and enjoy the show.

INSIDE JUSTICE ORDER
Western – starring Mel Gibson and Meryl Streep

UNDER HIS MINDS
Suspense – starring Tom Cruise and Roseanne

BOTTOM DUMB WEAPON
Crime Drama – starring Martin Short and Bette Midler

IN BOTTOMLESS NIGHT
Drama – starring Martin Short and Daryl Hannah

TO LAW STUPIDITY
Western – starring Kevin Bacon and Linda Evans

ABOVE DUMB DEATH
Horror – starring Tom Cruise and Christina Applegate

OUTSIDE MY MINDS
Action – starring Christopher Walken and Madonna

OUTSIDE BASTARD TROUBLE
Drama – starring Brad Pitt and Bette Midler

ABOVE MASK MESS
Romantic Comedy – starring David Letterman and Daryl Hannah

TO BATMAN’S ORDER
Crime Drama – starring Dustin Hoffman and Roseanne

UNDER ASSHOLE STINK
Drama – starring Steve Martin and Katharine Hepburn

DESIRE JUSTICE MINDS
Fantasy – starring Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth Taylor

Random insults.

Here are some insults randomly generated by another AutoIt script I wrote that uses 5 arrays containing various nouns and adjectives to create a devastating arsenal of verbal weaponry for use in a wide range of unpleasant situations. Rest assured they will all leave your victim speechless.

You’re a ridiculous geek who wears retarded horse sauce.
You’re a ridiculous loafer who collects melted beat chips.
You’re a smelly, rotting clown who collects worthless bed sweat.
You’re an ugly lardhead full of rejected jelly water.
You’re a boring dummy who washes in rotting chair hair.
You’re a rotten numbskull who spits out worthless onion mud.
You’re a slimy, slippery old toliet full of radioactive computer mud.
You’re a rotten loser stuffed with replusive garlic water.
You’re a cheap waste dump full of rotting jelly glop.
You’re a rotten loser stuffed with cheap cow sweat.
You’re a worthless balloon full of green poop mud.
You’re a disgusting lardhead full of slippery bed sandwiches.
You’re a sickening geek who wears disgusting bed sauce.
You’re a careless numbskull who spits out ugly smoke hair.
You’re a sickening bummer who eats dark wax glop.
You’re a worthless geek who wears dark dog paper.
You’re a slimy, slippery customer who buys shredded chair hair.
You’re a disgusting loser stuffed with dark poop roadkill.
You’re a slimy, slippery numbskull who spits out dark computer glop.
You’re a trashy , sickening fool who faxes cheap poop sweat.

Let me know when you use these up. There’s plenty more where these came from.

Some generated poems.

The following poems were generated by an AutoIt script containing arrays of 200 adjectives, 200 nouns and 40 possible ways to start a line of poetry. When the script is run, it randomly selects items from each array to generate the poems and then writes them to an HTML file for uploading to the Web. Even the page colors are randomly generated. This may seem like cheating, but every so often we just need a little push in the right direction. The results are interesting, if not surreal.

RED CARDBOARD
sing about foggy laughter
because difficult clouds
of sparkling horizons
about simple chords

GLOWING FAMILY
is it not horrible dreams
his soft airport
life is lowering memories
the running drama
listening to the tired replies
without tall answers
without flexible beds
his dreaming drama
beside the sour sentences
thinking about triangular computer
watching the blind sandwich

DECENT MEMORIES
of double answers
like lyrical patience
waiting for the triangular money
or hilarous romance
watching the doubtful hate
waiting for the blind streets
on top of molten offense