A man in my family named Dwight
Ate too many beans in one bite
Only then did he start
The world’s longest fart
His body deflated last night
Category Archives: poetry
The Aisles of the Forbidden.
Don’t go to aisle 47, sir, don’t go to aisle 47
The customer ventured to aisle 47
Then the lights went out and the silence quick to deaden
Now the customer’s gone but he didn’t go to heaven
Don’t go to aisle 48, sir, don’t go to aisle 48
The customer proceeded to aisle 48
I really tried to stop him, but it was much too late
He wound up as the main course on a giant dinner plate
Don’t go to aisle 49, sir, don’t go to aisle 49
The customer insisted on aisle 49
The next thing that unfolded was anything but fine
He was digitized and then transferred one byte at a time
Don’t go to aisle 50, sir, don’t go to aisle 50
I didn’t even watch as he entered aisle 50
The details were too sketchy and the demise rather iffy
That was when I quit my job and ran out in a jiffy
The peanut butter circle in the sky.
Amid the bickering on the ground
Differences unravel
That which cannot be combed
Friendships discombobulated
Opinions separating us all
We stare at the ground
Grunting at the shadows of discontent
Disregarding the sight above
The peanut butter circle in the sky
Out of nowhere
Seeking to unify us all
At least those who believe
While clinging to many roofs of mouths
Of those too stubborn to ponder
What it is that defies all logic
No one knows how it got there
But it matters not to those who understand
And choose not to revel in its revelation
To avoid upsetting those
Who prefer the company
Of their shadows blocking the light
Forever concealing
The true beauty of the world
Questions for the fleas.
“What is your purpose?
Why do you exist?
In what ways do you
Benefit us all?”
There was no answer
As the fleas sank
To the bottom
Of the sink.
A very dark haiku.
I can’t see a thing
A total absence of light
Curse these sunglasses
Sleeping on a cruise ship.
The water carries me
Down a gentle path lit by the Moon
As the ship gently rocks me to sleep
While casting my worries far behind
The million-dollar haiku.
playful fields of blue
there, that’s the winning haiku
now give me the cash
One-touch poetry.
As you compose your text messages your phone tends to suggest words you’re likely to use next. In some cases it’ll even suggest words you’ve used before. That got me thinking about what it would be like to create poems using nothing but these suggested words. As I write this I have no idea how these poems will turn out, but there’s only one way to find out. I’ll start each poem with a word of my choosing and then I’ll select from the words suggested by my phone to build the rest of the poem. Here goes…
LOVE
Love the kitchen to finish
Making it hurricane season
And then go out tonight
Man Condemned
LIFE
Life is the perfect antidote
For our house to bring to
Work with lunch at my chest pain
Or maybe free air in to the next colorful picture
Of the store before heading back
And then plan for go to work tomorrow
MUSIC
Music lovers will enjoy and walk away
And then go out to the right
I need to sit down and walk
And then plan for you too
Ugh. From now on I’ll just write my poems the old-fashioned way.
I completely understand.
I can understand how you are feeling
I’m hoping you can start healing
But at least I did have
A much-needed laugh
When your birthday cake flew to the ceiling
Two cats.
I have two cats
One I can see
When my eyes are open
And the other
When my eyes are closed