Archive for the ‘poetry’ Category

Raining on a Sunday.

April 23, 2017

It should be illegal
To buy mulch
When it’s raining on a Sunday

Zombie flower pickers.

April 22, 2017

The women stand
In the spacious field
Their long dresses flowing
In the apocalyptic breeze
Their elegant bonnets
Shielding them
From the dying sun
Slowly they gather
Fresh blue flowers
From endless rows
Filling their baskets
To add some cheer
To their undead lives

Never insult a haiku.

April 15, 2017

the butterflies came
and tore his body to shreds
in the morning breeze

Never insult a limerick.

April 15, 2017

“This limerick’s a fat waste of time!
I think reading it should be a crime!”
After those words were said
Our hero was dead
When he drowned in a pool full of slime

Lorraine’s unfortunate vacation.

April 11, 2017

There once was a girl named Lorraine
Who went for a flight on a plane
She made it okay
To Chesapeake Bay
But her luggage got flown into Spain

The self-righteous fool.

April 10, 2017

There once was a self-righteous fool
Who decided to go to the zoo
To ponder the fact
How the lions react
When he opens a can of cat food

The artist.

April 6, 2017

There once was a brilliant artist
Whose approach to his art was uncharted
Paint balls up his ass
And his really bad gas
Made works of art each time he farted

Chocolate chip cookies in Dreamland.

April 3, 2017

On top of a hill
In Dreamland
A tray piled high
With fresh cookies
No sugar
No calories
No taste
So eat away
And still be hungry
For breakfast

Changing the strings on my guitar in a badly cluttered house.

April 2, 2017

Where are the new strings?
Where’s the screwdriver?
Where’s my drink?
Where’s the string winder?
Where’s my guitar?

Spreading sand in a parking lot.

April 2, 2017

Kneeling in a parking lot
Spreading a bag of sand
My fingers admiring
The soothing soft powder
I open my eyes
From my slumber
On the couch
With my cat at my side