Angry readers respond.

I have to admit I was nervous about posting Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood And The Motorcycle Gang and The Demise of Captain Kangaroo. Both were written years ago during my teenage years and I thought they were both very funny. But I got a little worried about upsetting fans of these two classic TV shows and was almost expecting some angry comments. But none ever came, so I decided to make some of my own.

My 4-year-old daughter recently read your post on the motorcycle gang taking over Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and now she won’t come out of her room knowing that her favorite TV show has been vandalized. WAY TO TRAUMATIZE THE NEXT GENERATION, YOU MORON!!!

I am a member of a motorcycle club dedicated to the memory of Mr. Rogers and his mission. Underneath the long hair and tattoos (I myself have a tattoo of King Friday on my right shoulder) we’re all heart. How DARE you portray us as a bunch of hoodlums!

You’re really on a roll destroying our favorite shows. What’s next, giant puppets on Sesame Street?

ummm, to whoever wrote that last email, sesame street already has giant puppets

Giant puppets? Where?

ummm, hello, big bird, snuffleupagus

When did that start?

Way to go dropping ping pong balls with daggers on Captain Kangaroo. How would you like it if that happened to you? PLEASE tell me he’s ok.

On a serious note, those posts were written for fun and not meant to be taken seriously. I myself grew up with Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and Captain Kangaroo and still consider them highlights of my childhood. My enjoyment of those shows caused my mind to wander and imagine “what if” possibilities to make them more exciting, if not bizarre. To me, that’s paying the ultimate compliment.

The same thing happened several years ago when I read the Harry Potter books. I was so enchanted by the stories and the characters that my imagination went wild to create new stories and situations for our famed wizard. I posted those stories on this blog, which you can easily find with a quick search. I wouldn’t have come up with those stories if I didn’t enjoy the books.

Hatemail from Kansas.

So Kansas “still has its tornadoes armed with missiles”? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?? What are you trying to do, scare visitors away? If I see ONE SHRED of evidence of our tourism industry suffering because of your post, I will personally tie you to a chair out in the field for the next tornado to pick you up. Where it takes you next is of NO CONCERN TO ME WHATSOEVER.


My inbox has been inundated with emails from angry readers offended by my labeling Indians “sausages” in my comedy play “The Nastyheroes” that I posted last week. A sampling:

My people have endured centuries of hardship and you have the NERVE to call us “sausages” and “banana peels”?? SHAME ON YOU!!!!

I used to enjoy your so-called “blog “until I came across your stupid Nastyheroes post labeling us Indians “sausages”. DO YOU KNOW HOW RACIST THAT IS??? WELL, DO YOU??? ANSWER ME!!!!

How would YOU like it if someone called YOU a sausage or a banana peel? Think about it and maybe you’ll take that post down.

Assuming you have the slightest trace of humanity, I dare you to come visit us at our reservation and be the guest speaker at our next town hall meeting and READ your DISGUSTING PLAY in front of everyone. When you read the line calling us Indians “sausages”, watch and see how we react. Here’s a hint: There won’t be a standing ovation.

where do you live, cause im coming to kick your ass so hard you will see your world “from eagle view” if its big enough


Just letting you know my Indian grandfather placed you under an ancient tribal curse that will cause your head to shrink and wake the dead buried underneath your house. Yes, he’s upset.