Posts Tagged ‘limericks’

Never insult a limerick.

April 15, 2017

“This limerick’s a fat waste of time!
I think reading it should be a crime!”
After those words were said
Our hero was dead
When he drowned in a pool full of slime

Lorraine’s unfortunate vacation.

April 11, 2017

There once was a girl named Lorraine
Who went for a flight on a plane
She made it okay
To Chesapeake Bay
But her luggage got flown into Spain

The self-righteous fool.

April 10, 2017

There once was a self-righteous fool
Who decided to go to the zoo
To ponder the fact
How the lions react
When he opens a can of cat food

The artist.

April 6, 2017

There once was a brilliant artist
Whose approach to his art was uncharted
Paint balls up his ass
And his really bad gas
Made works of art each time he farted

My big mistake.

March 18, 2017

I made a big mistake, I think
I was looking for something to drink
It was too dark to see
So I reached out blindly
And drank a big bottle of ink

This blog flagged for removal.

January 21, 2017

This blog has been flagged for removal
Due to a mass disapproval
Of my poor choice of words
That caused cars to swerve
And spill a big shipment of noodles

Don’t read this poem.

November 1, 2016

You shouldn’t be reading this poem
I think you should leave it alone
There’s nothing to see
So please leave it be
Before these words turn into foam

How not to prepare for a hurricane.

October 8, 2016

Never set up your shutters
When the wind is especially aflutter
The ladder unsteady
Your balance not ready
The shutter will slice you like butter

The unfortunate waiter.

September 1, 2016

The waiter has sealed his own doom
And departed this world much too soon.
His sad fall from grace
Was flying through space
And landing his ass on the Moon.

The impatient diner.

September 1, 2016

Pardon me, sir, it is noon.
If my breakfast doesn’t come soon,
I’m going to spit
And throw a huge fit
Then I’m kicking your ass to the Moon.