“My ambition,” the cookie sheet said,
“Is provoking raw feelings of dread.
It’s going to be fun
Working under the sun
As a sign that says ‘No Turn On Red’.”

This could be the funniest poem
Its punchline will really hit home
But there’s one thing I need
Before we proceed
Your credit card number in foam

“Bad news,” said a sad Dr. Hune,
“The surgery ended too soon.
We barely got started
Just when your spouse farted,
We fled from the obnoxious fumes.”

“This limerick’s a fat waste of time!
I think reading it should be a crime!”
After those words were said
Our hero was dead
When he drowned in a pool full of slime

There once was a girl named Lorraine
Who went for a flight on a plane
She made it okay
To Chesapeake Bay
But her luggage got flown into Spain

There once was a self-righteous fool
Who decided to go to the zoo
To ponder the fact
How the lions react
When he opens a can of cat food