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limericks

I completely understand.

April 27, 2019 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

I can understand how you are feeling
I’m hoping you can start healing
But at least I did have
A much-needed laugh
When your birthday cake flew to the ceiling

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The cookie sheet.

January 23, 2018January 23, 2018 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

“My ambition,” the cookie sheet said,
“Is provoking raw feelings of dread.
It’s going to be fun
Working under the sun
As a sign that says ‘No Turn On Red’.”

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A phishy limerick.

June 27, 2017 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

This could be the funniest poem
Its punchline will really hit home
But there’s one thing I need
Before we proceed
Your credit card number in foam

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The space mission.

June 7, 2017 Michael Brazinskas horror, limericks, poetry horror, limericks, poetry

While flying a mission to space
To study this most quiet place
There was a loud scream
Then seen on the screen
A mysterious ugly face

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Bad news from the surgeon.

May 19, 2017 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

“Bad news,” said a sad Dr. Hune,
“The surgery ended too soon.
We barely got started
Just when your spouse farted,
We fled from the obnoxious fumes.”

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Never insult a limerick.

April 15, 2017April 15, 2017 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

“This limerick’s a fat waste of time!
I think reading it should be a crime!”
After those words were said
Our hero was dead
When he drowned in a pool full of slime

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Lorraine’s unfortunate vacation.

April 11, 2017 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

There once was a girl named Lorraine
Who went for a flight on a plane
She made it okay
To Chesapeake Bay
But her luggage got flown into Spain

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The self-righteous fool.

April 10, 2017 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

There once was a self-righteous fool
Who decided to go to the zoo
To ponder the fact
How the lions react
When he opens a can of cat food

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The artist.

April 6, 2017 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

There once was a brilliant artist
Whose approach to his art was uncharted
Paint balls up his ass
And his really bad gas
Made works of art each time he farted

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My big mistake.

March 18, 2017 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

I made a big mistake, I think
I was looking for something to drink
It was too dark to see
So I reached out blindly
And drank a big bottle of ink

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