MJBDiver.com

“Bad news,” said a sad Dr. Hune,
“The surgery ended too soon.
We barely got started
Just when your spouse farted,
We fled from the obnoxious fumes.”

“This limerick’s a fat waste of time!
I think reading it should be a crime!”
After those words were said
Our hero was dead
When he drowned in a pool full of slime

There once was a girl named Lorraine
Who went for a flight on a plane
She made it okay
To Chesapeake Bay
But her luggage got flown into Spain

There once was a self-righteous fool
Who decided to go to the zoo
To ponder the fact
How the lions react
When he opens a can of cat food

There once was a brilliant artist
Whose approach to his art was uncharted
Paint balls up his ass
And his really bad gas
Made works of art each time he farted

I made a big mistake, I think
I was looking for something to drink
It was too dark to see
So I reached out blindly
And drank a big bottle of ink

This blog has been flagged for removal
Due to a mass disapproval
Of my poor choice of words
That caused cars to swerve
And spill a big shipment of noodles

You shouldn’t be reading this poem
I think you should leave it alone
There’s nothing to see
So please leave it be
Before these words turn into foam

Never set up your shutters
When the wind is especially aflutter
The ladder unsteady
Your balance not ready
The shutter will slice you like butter