This blog has been flagged for removal
Due to a mass disapproval
Of my poor choice of words
That caused cars to swerve
And spill a big shipment of noodles
limericks
Don’t read this poem.
You shouldn’t be reading this poem
I think you should leave it alone
There’s nothing to see
So please leave it be
Before these words turn into foam
How not to prepare for a hurricane.
Never set up your shutters
When the wind is especially aflutter
The ladder unsteady
Your balance not ready
The shutter will slice you like butter
The unfortunate waiter.
The waiter has sealed his own doom
And departed this world much too soon.
His sad fall from grace
Was flying through space
And landing his ass on the Moon.
The impatient diner.
Pardon me, sir, it is noon.
If my breakfast doesn’t come soon,
I’m going to spit
And throw a huge fit
Then I’m kicking your ass to the Moon.
Driving in the rain.
As I was driving it started to rain.
The way it poured down was insane.
I drove half a block
And I gasped in shock
When my car headed straight down the drain.
Spock saves the day.
“The battery’s dead, Mr. Spock!”
Kirk yelled as they pulled into dock.
Then the ship sailed away
After Spock saved the day
With his Vulcan Electrical Shock.
His Valentine’s Day fiasco.
His sweetheart on Valentine’s Day
Was shocked and had nothing to say.
She opened the box
And became quite distraught
At the wedding ring made out of clay.
The man who couldn’t canoe.
There once was a fellow named Lou
Who didn’t know how to canoe.
The other guys laughed
When he gave it a pass.
They said, “We can canoe, but can you?”
I’d rather not talk about love.
I’d rather not talk about love.
I’d rather go fart in a glove.
And out of desire
I’ll set it on fire
And watch it explode from above.