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limericks

This blog flagged for removal.

January 21, 2017January 21, 2017 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

This blog has been flagged for removal
Due to a mass disapproval
Of my poor choice of words
That caused cars to swerve
And spill a big shipment of noodles

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Don’t read this poem.

November 1, 2016November 1, 2016 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

You shouldn’t be reading this poem
I think you should leave it alone
There’s nothing to see
So please leave it be
Before these words turn into foam

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How not to prepare for a hurricane.

October 8, 2016October 8, 2016 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

Never set up your shutters
When the wind is especially aflutter
The ladder unsteady
Your balance not ready
The shutter will slice you like butter

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The unfortunate waiter.

September 1, 2016September 1, 2016 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

The waiter has sealed his own doom
And departed this world much too soon.
His sad fall from grace
Was flying through space
And landing his ass on the Moon.

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The impatient diner.

September 1, 2016 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

Pardon me, sir, it is noon.
If my breakfast doesn’t come soon,
I’m going to spit
And throw a huge fit
Then I’m kicking your ass to the Moon.

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Driving in the rain.

February 16, 2016 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

As I was driving it started to rain.
The way it poured down was insane.
I drove half a block
And I gasped in shock
When my car headed straight down the drain.

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Spock saves the day.

February 16, 2016 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry, star trek limericks, poetry, star trek

“The battery’s dead, Mr. Spock!”
Kirk yelled as they pulled into dock.
Then the ship sailed away
After Spock saved the day
With his Vulcan Electrical Shock.

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His Valentine’s Day fiasco.

February 14, 2016February 15, 2016 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

His sweetheart on Valentine’s Day
Was shocked and had nothing to say.
She opened the box
And became quite distraught
At the wedding ring made out of clay.

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The man who couldn’t canoe.

February 13, 2016 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

There once was a fellow named Lou
Who didn’t know how to canoe.
The other guys laughed
When he gave it a pass.
They said, “We can canoe, but can you?”

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I’d rather not talk about love.

February 12, 2016 Michael Brazinskas limericks, poetry limericks, poetry

I’d rather not talk about love.
I’d rather go fart in a glove.
And out of desire
I’ll set it on fire
And watch it explode from above.

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