This blog has been flagged for removal
Due to a mass disapproval
Of my poor choice of words
That caused cars to swerve
And spill a big shipment of noodles

You shouldn’t be reading this poem
I think you should leave it alone
There’s nothing to see
So please leave it be
Before these words turn into foam

Never set up your shutters
When the wind is especially aflutter
The ladder unsteady
Your balance not ready
The shutter will slice you like butter

The waiter has sealed his own doom
And departed this world much too soon.
His sad fall from grace
Was flying through space
And landing his ass on the Moon.

Pardon me, sir, it is noon.
If my breakfast doesn’t come soon,
I’m going to spit
And throw a huge fit
Then I’m kicking your ass to the Moon.

As I was driving it started to rain.
The way it poured down was insane.
I drove half a block
And I gasped in shock
When my car headed straight down the drain.

His sweetheart on Valentine’s Day
Was shocked and had nothing to say.
She opened the box
And became quite distraught
At the wedding ring made out of clay.

There once was a fellow named Lou
Who didn’t know how to canoe.
The other guys laughed
When he gave it a pass.
They said, “We can canoe, but can you?”

I’d rather not talk about love.
I’d rather go fart in a glove.
And out of desire
I’ll set it on fire
And watch it explode from above.