A pretty good bar joke.

From A Prairie Home Companion’s Pretty Good Joke of the Day:

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. As he is drinking, he looks up sees three pieces of meat nailed to the ceiling. He asks the bartender, “What’s up with the meat on the ceiling?” The bartender expains that is this month’s special promotion. Jump up and grab the three pieces in three jumps and drink for the rest of the month for free. If you don’t get all three in three jumps, you have to buy everyone here a drink. The guys sits down and continues to drink his beer. The bartender says, “Well … aren’t you going to try it? The guys says, “Nah…the steaks are too high.”

A pretty good joke.

From A Prairie Home Companion’s Pretty Good Joke of the Day:

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. “We’re sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife,” said one trooper… “Tell me, please! Did you find her?” Wilkens shouted. The troopers looked at each other. One said, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?” Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the bad news first.” The trooper said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay.” “Oh my God!” exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, “Well, what’s the good news?” The trooper continued, “When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her and we feel that you are entitled to a share in the catch.” Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, “If that’s the good news, what’s the great news?” The trooper said, “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow.”

Pretty good management joke.

From A Prairie Home Companion’s Pretty Good Joke of the Day:

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”

“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.

“I do,” replies the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the balloonist, “Everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s no use to anyone.”

The man below says, “You must work in Management.”

“I do,” replies the balloonist, “But how did you know?”

“Well,” says the man, “You don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

Christmas shopping.

From A Prairie Home Companion’s Pretty Good Joke of the Day:

A couple was shopping on Christmas Eve, and the mall was packed. As the wife walked through the mall, she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. Because she was so worried, she called him on her cellphone to ask him where he was.

In a calm voice, the husband said, “Honey, you remember the jewelry store we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day?” The wife started to cry and said, “Yes, I remember that jewelry store.”

Husband: “Well, I’m in the bar right next to it.”