News from the chess tournament.

From A Prairie Home Companion’s Pretty Good Joke of the Day:

A big chess tournament was taking place at the Plaza in New York. After the first day’s competition, several of the players were sitting around in the foyer of the hotel bragging about their various matches. After a while, the desk clerk walked over to them and told them to clear out. One of the competitors asked why. “We’re not causing any trouble!”, he said. The clerk scowled at him and said, “I’m sorry, but if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

A tub of margarine.

From A Prairie Home Companion’s Pretty Good Joke of the Day:

I opened a tub of margarine and there, in the marg, was the face of Jesus. I took it around to my neighbour, Mr Patel, who shook his head and said “I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.”