My worst holiday fear.

December 7, 2016

My worst holiday fear
Is not the shopping
Or the decorating
Or the long lines at the post office
No
My worst holiday fear
Is losing my mind
And someone else finding it
And gifting it for Christmas

In a negative mood for the holidays.

December 5, 2016

Kevin’s accident.

December 4, 2016

“What happened, Kevin?” Robert asked he entered Kevin’s office. “I heard you got into an accident yesterday.”

“Yes, I did,” Kevin chuckled nervously.

“Is your car okay?”

“Well, the engine got flooded after I landed in the canal.”

“The canal?” Robert was shocked. “How did you wind up there?”

“Well, on my way home I stopped at the store to buy one of those kits to decorate my car for the holidays, you know, the one with the antlers and red nose,” Kevin explained.

“What does that have to do with the accident?”

“I thought it could make my car fly.”

The bridge.

December 4, 2016

The bridge
Between anger and destruction
Is very short
And burns very easily
But once crossed
Brings on instant regret
That fades very slowly
Over a lifetime
Better to take the scenic route
For a better view
Of the big picture
Along with the fresh air
To clear your mind

A sleepless night.

November 28, 2016

Problems stifle peace of mind
Chasing my sleep away
Wrecking a restful night
Job worries
Money problems
Car trouble
Legal woes
Farting noises from the closet

A slight predicament.

November 28, 2016

I have a slight predicament
I’m not sure what to do
I could surely use
A little bit of help from you
I stuck a toothbrush in the toaster
It blew up, flames and all
After all the smoke had cleared
There’s a big hole in the wall
Then there was a short circuit
And all the lights went out
There’s nothing else that I can do
Except to sit and pout
Now I’m desperate for your help
I need to hear your say
I’m staying at my mother-in-law’s
She’s coming home today!

Cyber Monday Deals!

November 27, 2016

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The tree.

November 26, 2016

The tree stood
Not in the forest
But in the living room
Decorated and dying
Its existence cut short
By a season celebrating life

Belching words of wisdom.

November 25, 2016

Singing the Black Friday blues.

November 25, 2016

As Sam entered the bar, Bart the bartender could tell something was wrong. Sam was uncharacteristically quiet and sad as he took his seat at the counter.

At that instant, the TV above the counter blared the headline “BLACK FRIDAY SHATTERS ALL RECORDS” as the newscaster filled in the details.

“Could you change the channel, please?” Sam groaned.

“What’s the matter, Sam?” Bart asked as he tuned to a sports channel.”I’m impressed with how Black Friday shattered all the records.”

“But I’m not!” Sam cried.

“Why?”

“Because I own a record store!”