Of heavy metal and gardening.

This morning, while filling up my water bottle at the drinking fountain in the garden section of the store where I work, I spotted an interesting looking flowerpot with a metallic finish on the shelf next to where I was standing. As I pondered whether this was a genuine metal flowerpot or a painted plastic imposter, I decided to consult the label to resolve the confusion. The label said:

12 in Antique Copper Metal Planter – Medium

Next to these words was a Spanish translation:

Maceta Metálica Redonda en Cobre Antiguo de 30.4 cm – Mediana

Seeing the word “metálica” of course brought to mind the legendary metal band Metallica. Then something odd struck me. I’m seeing the word “metálica” on a flowerpot, which gave me a very interesting “what-if” scenario.

What if the members of Metallica were avid gardening enthusiasts?

This is where things get even more interesting. I’m imagining the members of the band relaxing at home while tending to their bountiful harvests of tomatoes, onions, peppers and cucumbers to go along with their homegrown lettuce and spinach. I imagine they also have a separate section for their herbs such as basil, cilantro, rosemary and oregano.

So dedicated are the members of Metallica to their gardening that lead singer James Heffield closes each Metallica concert with the words, “Good night, and happy gardening!”

But my imagining didn’t stop there. I could see them launch their own line of gardening products, including flowerpots emblazoned with the Metallica logo along with rakes and shovels shaped like guitars. (Flowerpots shaped like drums are also a possibility.) Then they would come up with their own fertilizer and gardening soil made from fermented beer and composted food items collected from the floor after each concert. I can almost see Metallica fans become quite the gardening enthusiasts themselves.

And then Metallica would release an album of acoustic gardening tunes featuring an album cover photo of the band members dressed in denim overalls and straw hats.

I think I better stop now.

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